3 reasons why Never Give Up is really bad advice - The Chief Happiness Officer Blog

3 reasons why Never Give Up is really bad advice - The Chief Happiness Officer Blog Ever seen one of these little inspirational images?on facebook or linkedin? Theyre?are all over the damn place :) Not only is this kind of advice vapid and simplistic (and frankly it annoys the crap out of me), I believe that it might ultimately be doing us a major disservice. Here are 3 reasons why Never Give Up is really bad advice. 1: Sometimes giving up is just the right thing to do I?m reminded of the story of the world famous opera singer?Tina Kiberg. As a child, Tina?was a competent?violinist and spent her free time practicing and practicing. One day she participated in a violin?contest and realized that she would never be more than a mediocre?violinist and that she also enjoyed singing more. She gave up?the violin, took up singing and became a leading international opera singer. If she had seen quitting as always the wrong thing to do, she might have been stuck?as a run-of-the-mill violinist. Her courage to give up is what allowed her to become a world famous opera diva. Now try to?guess what these somewhat successful people have in common: Larry Page, Sergey Brin, Tiger Woods, Reese Witherspoon, John McEnroe and John Steinbeck? Yep, they all dropped out of Stanford. Ever heard that?Winners never quit and quitters never win? What nonsense! Look at pretty ?much any successful person and I bet their past?is littered with things they did at one time?and then gave up. Sometimes youve got to stick with?something, even through tough times. But sometimes you have to?have the courage to give up. And you have to be open to the fact, that sometimes giving up is the right way forward. 2: Powerful psychological biases?already make it hard for us to?give up There are a number of cognitive processes?that systematically make it harder for us to leave existing situations and move on to something new even when were miserable with the status quo. Just off the top of my mind, here are some?cognitive biases, that conspire to keep us stuck in bad situations: The sunk cost fallacy When youve spent a lot of time/money/focus on something, it becomes very hard to walk away from it. People think Ive invested so much in this already. If I quit, that will all have been wasted. The ambiguity effect?and the status quo bias People tend to select options for which the probability of a?certain?outcome is known, over an option for which the probability of that outcome is unknown. Example: I know my current situation is tough, but I know what I have. If I give up, I dont know what I will get. Loss aversion and the endowment effect Once we have something, we hate to lose it. Things we?dont have yet, dont carry the same value. Given these cognitive biases, its already hard enough for us to give up, which might help explain why people stay?stuck in bad jobs, bad marriages, ?abusive friendships etc. We dont need the added burden of simplistic Never give up advice making it even harder for us. 3:?Society attaches a stigma to?giving up And yet, in the face of all this evidence to the contrary, society?stigmatizes people who give up. Quitting is seen as weak, as a lack of passion or as personal failure. As I see it, Never give up is easy to say and therefore gets repeated a lot. Its still not true and that makes it tremendously bad advice. I think it makes more sense to tell people to know why they do what they do and occasionally evaluate if it still makes sense to be doing it. There should be?zero shame in giving up a fight you cant win or in dropping a goal that no longer works for you. Quite the opposite its the sign of a strong, mature mind?to have the courage to reevaluate what youre doing and either choose to keep doing it or to choose something else. So the next time you see someone post one of those Never give up type images on facebook, be sure to tell them just how wrong (and potentially harmful) that type?of advice can be. Related posts International Quit Your Crappy Job Day is March 31 Never stay in a bad job. Fix it or leave. Top 5 myths about quitting your job Thanks for visiting my blog. If you're new here, you should check out this list of my 10 most popular articles. And if you want more great tips and ideas you should check out our newsletter about happiness at work. It's great and it's free :-)Share this:LinkedInFacebookTwitterRedditPinterest Related